Journal Entry, July 12, 2012

I Had A Dream

I had a dream this morning. I think I wrestled with an angel. It was very refreshing. I have not freely played like that in a very long time. She was also very beautiful. She appeared as a slender, black, African woman. Then, in that dream I grew very angry and spoke loudly to someone who’s friend had started a rumor about me and this woman by gossiping. The person to whom I spoke angrily, covered his ears, hunched over and turned away. His actions showed me that I was hurting his spirit with my voice. I woke up feeling disturbed about my behavior. This led me immediately to asking God for understanding.

I remembered the verse “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty.” (Proverbs 16:32)

I realized that I want very much to be mature in spirit so that I will always be gentle and self-controlled; so that I will not react immaturely to any sins against me, like I did in my dream; so that I will not turn against anyone when they hurt me, but will instead remain “for” them, quickly forgiving, quickly laying the matter in God’s hands, and then ask Him to bless them or even ask that their sin not count against them, just like Steven asked when he was being stoned to death (Acts 7:60).

I want the love in my heart not to be shaken by any attacks against me. We must always stand up for one another, because inside every human enemy is a very precious child of our Father’s from whom He desperately longs not to be separated. We must not hurt them. As God’s representatives, we must do good to them, not demand justice for the wrongs they commit.

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