When it comes to my own writing, though I do try hard, I seem ineffectual at accurately capturing my feelings in written form. I quickly lose them while struggling with the painful mechanics of writing, and my words end up all stiff, factual and even disjointed.
I’ve really no idea how I come across to people who read my words. Personally, I don’t care for my own writing. My thoughts and feelings run so much deeper than my stilted words convey. I wish I could just pour out my heart like a movie.
Recently I asked God why it is that I don’t personally know anyone who is also sharing their spiritual journey, willingly revealing their deep thoughts and feelings about Him. I’m not saying that there aren’t a lot of spiritual writers out there. My point is, I don’t know them — not personally. Very quickly, God answered my question. He reminded me that I do, in fact, know someone. And she also happens to be a much better writer than I. So if you don’t mind, I’d very much like for you to meet her…
During my small-town Baptist youth group days I knew a girl in her early teens named Karyn. She was a very sweet, smiley-faced, sparkly-eyed girl full of youthful exuberance and laughter. The combination of her pure heart, happy energy and natural beauty was an attractive fragrance to everyone, not just all us boys. When I went away to college, I lost contact with most everyone from that group, including her. A few years ago we got in touch through Facebook, and I’ve since discovered that, like me, she has a blog of her own. Her nom de plume is “Buttercup.”
Karyn’s tender, open heart, her yearning, searching soul and her abiding love for her Creator are evident in her beautiful blog posts, many of which brought tears to my eyes. (Sorry if that embarrasses anyone.) I deeply appreciate her willingness to be so open. And though I do accept God’s will for my own life, during my lonely, selfish moments I find myself wishing that He would bless me with a wife who has a heart and soul like hers.
You see, despite deep trauma and pain, she has not let her sparkle die. She makes the conscious choice not to guard her wounds, but risks being vulnerable with a genuine, unconditional love. Fear of pain does not persuade her to maintain the upper-hand by keeping all her deep thoughts and feelings secret. Instead, her beautiful spirit chases after faith like it was sunshine, and from it God has made her bloom.
She has been writing for almost eight years now. Like wine, she just gets better with time. Perhaps her words will stir your heart like they did mine. Here is a list of some of my favorite posts:
- August 3, 2008 — The 64 Pack
- August 7, 2008 — I Love…
- September 7, 2008 — Glimmers of Glory
- September 21, 2008 — Reckless Rhythm
- October 5, 2008 — Divine Affection
- October 12, 2008 — One Word!
- December 7, 2008 — A Different Kind of PDF
- August 5, 2010 — Wasted No More
- November 26, 2010 — Thankful
- April 30, 2011 — Whispered I Love Yous
- July 13, 2011 — Yellow Roses
- July 8, 2012 — Who Am I Anyway?
- July 20, 2012 — I Was Blind, but Now I See
- August 22, 2012 — Fear or Faith?
- September 16, 2012 — Chosen
- September 29, 2012 — Hope
- November 23, 2012 — Boots
- January 4, 2013 — Trust Follows
- February 8, 2013 — Fishing For Peace
Please come and meet Buttercup, won’t you?