I acknowledge that GOD considers all His children’s needs at the same time. For Him, taking this story to “the right people” could also mean those who are just now going through something with their cats that we’ve already been through. Maybe reading our story will give some people a shot of hope, or the courage to hang in there knowing they’re not alone, or the faith to lean on GOD more or maybe, it will just lighten their hearts. GOD knows so many wonderful ways to take something and use it for good.
However, before God could use our story to help us or anyone else, I first had to be willing to do my part – to write it down, exposing myself in the process, and then let it loose into the world. I must willingly risk ridicule and possibly hostility. For me, this is hard because I already feel abnormal and embarrassed about our situation. But with a greater faith and more determination than ever, I have committed myself to walking the difficult path — to writing this story anyway.
Because of the way my brain works, I’ve almost no memories of how things look, sound, smell or taste (or at least I can’t access them). Instead, I remember the facts and feelings of past moments. As a result, my writing tends to be more of fact than richly descriptive sensory-words.
While I write from the memory of my feelings, I also have many tiny feelings about what I write. In this way GOD helps me to remain spiritually honest. When I looked over something that I had written, and it suddenly felt like a potentially misleading exaggeration, I corrected it. When it felt like I was pushing my own agenda, I deleted it. When it felt like I was veering slightly from the truth in order to feel less exposed, I forced myself to fix that too, and on, and on. Following these tiny feelings is one of the ways that I experience walking in faith.
For me writing is a slow, awkward, painstaking process. Of course, I asked GOD for His help and guidance, then I willingly stepped forward and did my very best. It has taken me over nine weeks. Now it’s done and my hopes are high. So, ready or not, here we come — all 51 plus the two of us.
Many times when cats came to us, I could feel myself dragging my feet, but I did what I believed to be right anyway. Then, inevitably, that moment would come when each cat would look me in the eye and I would see a settled kind of trust and love that meant it was home for good. We had become family. Now, I can’t imagine my life without them.
From the moment we are born, each event in our lives plays its part in shaping us. Regardless of what my initial setup-conditions were, the stage is now set. I am who I am. As a boy, I was more of a dog-person. But now, I find that I have a deep and abiding love for cats. I’d never dreamed that this would be the path my life would take. But, I humbly acknowledge that the true purpose for my life was never mine to choose.
Because of my autism and lack of permanent employment, I have felt like such an awkward social-outsider for many years. Now, with 51 cats, I feel even more the laughable outcast. I thought that founding a unique, not-for-profit, charitable corporation on my own would finally allow me to appear normal, successful and respectable in the eyes of society. But, GOD allowed me to discover for myself how my time and strength would have been stolen-away by all the spiritually-empty requirements heaped on me by the distrusting world of business and government.
Still, willing to commit my life to the care of abandoned kitties, I went looking for help to climb that corporate mountain anyway. By closing every door that I tried to open, I now believe that GOD was showing me that He does not want me to choose my own direction for the wrong reasons. He has His plan for me – albeit, one that requires a lot more faith and courage.
I believe that GOD wants me to send our story out into the world and then to put all of my trust in Him. I’m not very comfortable doing this. Placing myself before the world’s judgmental eyes is the hardest path I have ever been asked to walk. But — I will do it anyway.
When GOD gives to us, He does so freely, without a price. GOD said to ask and we would receive. I have asked, and now I am casting my note-in-a-bottle upon the Internet sea. He will guide it to those whose hearts are His and do with it what He will — Thank you for reading our story.
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